21st December 2016

In all my years of travelling for work, I have built up an exceptional knowledge of hotel bathrooms. This trip has seen me add campground bathrooms to my repertoire.  Corporate, travelling women and the bathroom is a very serious thing – I return to hotels based in part on whether their bathrooms are compatible with my requirements (I have also determined that the vast majority of hotel bathrooms are designed by men).  Work wise I need a shower with a bath (preferable but not a deal breaker), large vanity to place my array of skin care products and makeup (it’s the first thing I do on arrival to a hotel – it’s an OCD thing – Miss T sees it all the time and now just lets me get on with it), very well-lit mirror, soap packets that aren’t frustratingly difficult to open (yes this does happen) and a toilet brush (unbelievably some hotels do not have toilet brushes – a must when you are travelling with a colleague).   Aside from the bathroom requirements – a mini bar and room service menu with a cheese platter.

Onwards to campground bathrooms.  They vary greatly and to date, the Erldunda Roadhouse bathroom has come up trumps.  Why?  Large, well ventilated, super clean, a baby bathing area complete with built in baby bath, large, individual vanities with mirrors, yellow fluoro’s to deter bugs and a shower cubicle like no other.  Large bench seat, two hooks on the back of the door and a towel rack.  This may seem like a normal ask – believe me it is not the reality – but when you have three women jammed into a cubicle (the girls have taken this as gospel since the nine minute shower scam at Ormiston Gorge) you need space, racks and hooks.  On top of the splendidly clean and friendly shower block, the grounds had lush, green grass on the sites, a purpose built sunset platform, emu farm, happy hour and rescue kangaroo enclosure – for a lot less than other places were charging in the middle of bum fuck nowhere.  A bit of thought goes a long way – the word Hospitality comes to mind … But hey, Miss 10 cooked the dinner …

The bathroom was a great relief at Erldunda (although not close enough, as ten kilometres out my “I have given birth naturally to two children and didn’t do my pelvic floor exercises” kicked in and I HAD TO PEE SO BADLY.  Quick, pull over, where are the baby wipes? I need a garbage bag, shit, shit, shit, I’m not going to make it to behind the tree, oh bugger I splattered on my feet, more baby wipes – STOP LAUGHING AT ME FROM THE TRUCK.  Assholes – at least the flowers were pretty and I fed them.

On top of the humiliation of not being able to hold on, we had completed the 7.6 kilometre Valley of the Winds walk at Kata Tjuta that morning and were stinky.  Miss 10 powered through the hike like a gun and whilst the Husband listened to the IPOD ensuring no whinging was heard, Miss 12 and I brought up the rear clowning around taking silly selfies and talking utter garbage. The four hour walk was completed in 2.5.  This walk, not nearly as popular as anything at Uluru, was absolutely stunning and probably my favourite interior walk so far.

Setting up camp we headed off to happy hour where we met Tony and Melody, a little older than us they had just finished a stint at the rock (they don’t need to work but get bored whilst travelling).  They were so gorgeous – both divorced, they had met online nine months earlier and had fallen head over heels for each other.  Now they spend their time travelling and enjoying this new found love of each other and life.  Many, many interesting tales – these I will reserve for the village with a bottle of wine.

The next morning we decided a run to the SA border and on to Coober Pedy was the best bet so as it was a car day I opted for the free boobie day – laughs from Miss 12 accompanied by “I can’t do that with my superboobies” (insert maniacal laughter) – hahaha, funny, funny.

I had booked the Desert View Apartments online and really had no idea what to expect – we just wanted to experience underground accommodation (thanks again Miss A and Mr J) and it was such a blast on check in with the effervescent Tony and his wife Linda that I gave them a five star Facebook review immediately (those who know me know this to be a rarity indeed).  Tony was fantastic, giving us tips on tours, discount vouchers and where to buy opals.  He also let us know the BIG ONE – alcohol restrictions.  Two bottles of wine per person per day, a carton, or a bottle of spirit and a bottle of wine.  They are serious too – each bottle shop in the town is connected via scanners, so when they scan your ID they can see if you have been anywhere else that day.  Our mate Tony has circumvented that problem – he orders his beverage selection in bulk from Dan Murphy’s in Adelaide and has it delivered to his door!

The view from on top of our apartment was truly magical, Tony’s little dog Ruby and his next door neighbour’s dog (who let himself in to our apartment for a scratch) adorable, sleeping in a cave with no light amazing (none of us were up the first morning until 10.00am!), our mine tour at the Old Timer’s Mine fabulous, the myriad of fascinating underground churches intriguing – and Crocodile Harry’s – look it up.  I can safely say, that as of today, Coober Pedy has been my favourite place so far – and I bought myself a treat to remember it by (don’t tell the Husband).  The landscape is sparse, desolate and unforgiving, but the peace, tranquillity and sunset was inspiring.  Although the polar opposite to my palm fringed home, Coober Pedy had a homeliness about it I loved.

As we had a TV for two nights, we got a hold of “Pricilla, Queen of the Desert” and “The Castle”, two great Aussie movies for a travelling family.  Both movies are still a blast today and even enjoyed by the next generation whose belly laughs audibly let us know they were enjoying the folly.  Having said that, I had forgotten how much innuendo and language comes out in Pricilla – though the girls did enjoy the concept of “setting your tampon on fire and blowing up your box.”

Coober Pedy to William Creek was all unsealed – but nothing like the Mereenie Loop road – so no cellulite was jiggled away this time – however something was going to get away eventually … more on that later.  We were so struck by the desolation we stopped halfway to get out and really appreciate the landscape.  So many times I have commented in my life “There’s nothing here,” when travelling, but let me give you the hot tip – out here there is NOTHING but it is stunningly beautiful.

I liked William Creek as soon as we arrived – it was the sign into town that got me – ‘Please drop bull dust here’ – I must get one of these for the office.  With a population of twelve people, there is a pub, campground, unit accommodation and a charter flight business – all owned by the one person who kept buying up things as people slowly left town.  With such a tiny population, they are definitely not making any money off the parking meter!

Rose in the pub made REAL coffee, not that servo sludge we have had to endure.  My cappuccino came in a mug, with loads of fluff and a good dose of choccie on top.  There was a TV in the bar – girls became zombies – whilst we asked about flights over Lake Eyre and the Painted Hills.  Rose summoned “The Boss”, Trevor and we had a great chat – he had flown Mr J from Tourism Australia only two weeks ago and was keen to ask me about tourism in general, particularly Chinese tourism in our part of the world.  We had a great yarn then settled on a price for the flight where he threw in a night’s accommodation at the ‘William Creek Hilton” – a very rustic, multi roomed, added on to shack on the hill about 500 metres out of town.  It came complete with a little lizard who had decided living in the heater was far nicer than hiding from crows outside.

All excited we head off to the airfield to watch Trevor towing the plane with a quad bike down the Oodnadatta Track to the airstrip – have I mentioned how much I like the outback? – for our two hour flight over a lake that is bigger than Belgium and at this time of year can only been seen from the air, and the famous Painted Hills – again, not accessible by road as they are located on the privately owned Anna Creek Station (biggest station in the world at over six million acres – it just sold for a cool 70 million dollars) and they are keen to keep the area pristine.

Fifteen minutes in I knew I was done for.  Ever since I got pregnant with Miss 12 I started to experience motion sickness – car (my friends love it as I will always offer to drive the one hour to the big city down the winding road), sea (anything over 15 knots is not an option) and now air when flying at low altitude in a small plane.  Hand me the baggies – I was off and running at about 45 minutes then again another 30 minutes later.  Hurling with a head set is tricky – have to remember to put up the microphone or you’ll be smelling the vomit the rest of the trip (the cappuccino came back to frothily haunt me and combined with a beer it was certainly an interesting mix – I will report however – there was no carrot).  Miss 10 was off with me – together we filled a delightful three bags full (Ba Ba Black sheep would have been proud).  Miss 12 managed to hold it together – barely – and the Husband showed us all up with his iron clad gut and stunning photos on both his phone and SLR – look out for those – they are way better than my queasy attempts to hold the phone straight to take a shot!  But it was worth it.  You cannot imagine just how gargantuan Lake Eyre is.  Trevor had walked across it once (admitted NEVER again) and there is only one animal that can live in such a harsh environment – a lizard, who burrows into the salt (that can be up to 30cm thick) and walks on its elbows and knees to reduce its body surface area.  The Lake boasts the lowest point in Australia – 18 metres below sea level and you can see how easy it would be to become disoriented out there.  The hills were magnificent – coloured due to the minerals in them – like nothing else you have ever seen.  It was a magic moment (minus the chuck of course).

So back to the pub for a soothing lemonade and a bit of food (we shared two meals as still a bit on the queasy side) then back to the William Creek Hilton to rest up for tackling the Oodnadatta Track to Maree in the morning.